"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Women Driving.

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What did the young girl say to her step-dad? Nothing. She no longer talks to him after years and years of sexual abuse which left her emotionally scarred.

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How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? With artillery.

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What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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Person 1 : i need to sneeze Person 2 : ok ( person 1 sneezes ) Person 2 : bless u ( few seconds later ) did u sneeze? Person 1 : yep :)

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Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

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Penis.

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i drive all the time its no big deal open the door and get behind the wheel

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms..

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porn-hub

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Why did the Kitty stop meowing? Because its dead.

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A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

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Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

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Why couldn't Bethany drive? She was 14.

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my name is Jacob sartorious

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

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redtube

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a kangaroo walks in to a bar and sits down. Kangaroo's live in Auustralia

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins the china town

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Spread the net.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops