What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a bat and the others a watermelon

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Knock, Knock Come in

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John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the retard's house *knock knock* who's there? the chicken

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

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Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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The term "shots fired" often reminds me of the time a couple of buddies had a drinking contest and I shoved a lit cigarette down the loser's throat

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Why didn't Steve finish his homework? He didn't want to.

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Yo mama is so fat, she eats three times the normal amount of calories one should eat in a single day. This resulted in her early demise, to which you mourned for numerous months before accepting the fact that she was gone.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump!

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What did one hipster say to the other hipster? I'm not a hipster.

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Whis a racist rapist etter than a non-racist rapist? less women getting raped

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Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

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Why doesn't Lebron James have any rings? Cuz he didn't win a championship.

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Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

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Q: what did 7 say to 11? A: weres every one else?

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Life is an elephant, get married.

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In soviet Russia - some people were poor.

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Q: Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: She had no arms... Q: Knock Knock! Q: Who's there? A: NOT SARA! --- Q: Okay... What song does Sara sing to her arms? A: Somebody That I Used To Know... --- Now. If you're happy and you know it clap your... nevermind O_O

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why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

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what's orange, round, that like to play and kill poeple and not in a video game? a) a freaking orange b) a super ball c) a dog painted in orange d) samus aran e) none of the previous answer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops