What is the difference between a black guy and a road? One you put tar on and the other one is a road

The daring man said "here goes nothing." And nothing happened. -Tag

Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a dick you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now,

knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

What do you a call a person who can't fly. A person.

Jews... The only funny thing they did was piss off Adolf Hitler

how do u know when your in west virginia? when the houses have more wheels than the cars

Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

Bumper Sticker: I Brake for Stop Signs

Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

There's a car about to hit me.

Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

why did the puppy poop? he had too

96

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...