Why did the black lady yell? She was being raped.

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

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Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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Bumper Sticker: I Brake for Stop Signs

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Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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96

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why did the puppy poop? he had too

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There's a car about to hit me.

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Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

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What did Little Jojo get for Hanukah? Nothing he is Muslim.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i'd put my penis in your mouth

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Roses are red Violets are blue your mum went to the loo and out came you

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I like my women how I like my salad. Without a penis.

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fack me in the ace! CC

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Trashcan!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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