A black walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was a customer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

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Why did the Kek Kick Ben? Cause Ben kicked Kek's Kik. KEKEKEK

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What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

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My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

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Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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