Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

thumb_up thumb_down -66

What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

thumb_up thumb_down -25

your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

thumb_up thumb_down -43

national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -160

Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

thumb_up thumb_down +167

My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

thumb_up thumb_down +143

My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops