What's white and sticky? Glue.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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lol

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

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your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

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ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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