How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -51

A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -119

why did the man die? because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +122

Why did the goblin have no friends? because no one likes a goblin, including other goblins.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

thumb_up thumb_down -138

What's white and sticky? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

thumb_up thumb_down -21

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

thumb_up thumb_down -65

What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -107

What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

thumb_up thumb_down -107

What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops