A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A black guy walks into a bar. When he saw the white bartender's bar he got offended. There were heads of hunted animals on the walls. He works for PETA.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two girls are sitting quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's older than history? Pre-history.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

thumb_up thumb_down -39

what is hollow and bloody? Vagina when it gets genital herpes

thumb_up thumb_down +146

A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Paperclip... BANANA?!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops