Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

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you ever put a vibrating phone on your b a l l s ???

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"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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What was the worst part about the Holocaust? -When it ended

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I dont no the difference between their and there

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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what do you call a disabled black man getting beat up? an unfortunate human

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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A black guy walks into a bar. When he saw the white bartender's bar he got offended. There were heads of hunted animals on the walls. He works for PETA.

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what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

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what do you call a black man on the moon? Kid Cudi

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Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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