What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

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So a Jewish Family walks into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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British Dentistry

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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Flop dog

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his wife and kids.

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Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

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How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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The 80's

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A disgusting halfbreed which prays daily for its own euthenasia...

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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JFK

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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