Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

What's black and blue and red all over Sex

ObamaCare

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

What came first: the chicken or the egg? God.

Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

Why did the red head never have a boyfriend? She was a lesbian and had always preferred women over men

Why did the color blind man cut the red wire and accidentally blew himself up and all the other people involved in the situation? Because he didn't know how to defuse a bomb.

Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

What did Steegers say when he lost his TARDIS? "The niggers stole it again!"

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

Why did the Blonde say something stupid? Because she is stupid

How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

What is the priest favorite book? The Bible

The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

What's black and buried in my backyard? An African American, I'm a member of the Ku Klux Klan

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...