JFK

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why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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Why did the color blind man cut the red wire and accidentally blew himself up and all the other people involved in the situation? Because he didn't know how to defuse a bomb.

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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what do you call a disabled black man getting beat up? an unfortunate human

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Why did the pasta not taste good? Because your mom made it.

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"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

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what do you call a black man on the moon? Kid Cudi

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Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

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Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops