what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What does 'A' stand for? A: Effort

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -33

One white male lives in a city with all blacks. He puts up with gang violence nearly every day.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

agp

thumb_up thumb_down +102

I'm so hungry I could eat food

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops