Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

thumb_up thumb_down -139

Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

thumb_up thumb_down +168

Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

thumb_up thumb_down +24

ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

thumb_up thumb_down -186

What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the black guy win a gold medal in the olympics? hard work, dedication and determanation! what no one else can be bothered to do anymore because of all this new technology and stuff!! get of your arse and do something active. NOW!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

your mammas so fat she has to buy pants in the xxlarge section of the store

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black guy in college? A student.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

thumb_up thumb_down -137

What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

If file gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What Does Alex J Simpsons Face have in Common with his hand? Spaghetti

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops