Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and oranges? With one,you can make a delicous smoothie, but the other is just a pile of citrus fruits.

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Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

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Knock knock Who's there? Not you

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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What did the Rabbi say to the priest? The holocaust was real and it tore apart my family.

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Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

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What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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Why didn't Helen Keller drive? With all that time she spent learning how to read and write despite being blind and deaf, authoring numerous books, and being a prolific political activist; she simply did not have the substantial time to acquire a driver's license.

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Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes and noise and they are promptly found by the invading German soldiers. They are all shipped to Aushwitz where two of them are sent directly to the gas chambers where they are killed. The third Jew survives the Holocaust and is eventually liberated by Allied forces. He returns to his country only to find his house burnt to the ground. With no money or food, he starves to death by the side of the road and his body is eaten by various animals.

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Land Rovers

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Why do women have boobs? So they can feed their newborn children without paying for expensive formula

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Just kidding! Redheads arn't real.

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How did the Jew his German neighbor? Every morning the Jew says hello and the German replys hello

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Womens rights.

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Q. What does McDonald's and Michael Jackson have in common? A. They both stick their meat in 13 year old buns.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a piece of chicken? They were once both alive and innocent. I lied about the black guy.

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Women.

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You're smart... And I can tell a joke.

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Woman's rights

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Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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