There was a black man a Spanish man and an Asian in the back of a police car. The end

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Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

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Why was the man reading various news articles on the Internet at 2:21 in the morning? Because at that time he could not sleep. Which meant he tried to find something else to fill his time up with.

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How can you put 2 elephants in a bottle without touching each other. You put an elephant between them.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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raping black women

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A blind guy walks into a bar because he can't see.

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What starts with P and ends in ORN? Porn.

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Nicolas Cage

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Women.

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Your momma's so stupid, her IQ is below average.

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ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Why did the man name his son David? He didn't. It was his wife's choice.

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Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

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I walked into my maths lesson and my teacher told me to point out the uncommon variable. ..So i pointed at the ginger black man in the corner.

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Why did the banana go to the hospital? It didnt, bananas cannot speak or walk. It is a simple fact so you should know.

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Worst joke ever

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

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What do you get when you cross an orangatang with a grizzly bear? Nothing, they just walk past each other unless the bear eats the shit out of the monkey then feeds it to her cubs

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Why did the Jew wear a beanie while playing soccer? Because he shaved his head

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

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What did one computer say to the other? 100111010100100111001010010001110101110010100010101011010011010010111000010101100100100100001101010000011111010010011010100110101001010100101010101010100101011010010010101010110010110010100100010101010101010

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Why are females bad drivers? Because it is hard to drive with pots and pans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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