Yo momma's so fat, that she was put in this joke

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How do you lose your train of thought? You can't. It is impossible to fit a full size locomotive in the human skull.

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Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

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What bad thing could happen if you gave a black man a gun? ....stop expecting some racist punchline!

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where do you find sunglasses at? the store

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Ever had sex while camping? It's great.

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How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

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A Irishman walks into a bar... he suffers severe head injuries.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

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What's Black white and red all over? Half a penguin

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Homosexuals are gay.

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"You know what sucks?" "vaccuums?" "you know what meteforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "you what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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Why did the chicken die? He tried to cross a road by an alleyway, therefore getting hit by a double decker bus and the alleyway has nothing to do with it. Also, the chicken had one leg and was blind.

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Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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What did the child rapist say to the little boy? I'm going to rape you.

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Why did Janie miss school today? Because she fell in a well.

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What' do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's puzsy

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Why did the British person go to the dentist? He had a poor diet which led to him getting cavities

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one day i went to bed

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girls basketball

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What causes floods? Too much water.

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Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

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What did the Priest say to the Rabbi? Nothing. The Priest was mute and the Rabbi was deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops