Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What worse than rain Osama Bin Laden

thumb_up thumb_down +30

where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did one child say to the other child? We both are kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

This sentence is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Two cannibals were eating a man, one at the top and one at the bottom. The cannibal at the top said, "are you having fun down there?" The cannibal at the bottom said, "yeah, I'm having a ball!"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

69

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A Jew walks into a bar The bar owner looks at a gang of punks in the back and shouts "YOU! GET OUT!" The Jew leaves the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is the difference between a black guy and a road? One you put tar on and the other one is a road

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats at the end of the rainbow? Purple

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Yo sugars so salty when you put it on your french fries they taste like salty french fries

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is black and white and red all over? Two Nuns in a chainsaw fight.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the worste part about alzheimer's disease? You forgot you have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What just hit my face? The floor

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops