Why Can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

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You know you have no friends when you write anti-jokes. [M]

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. Since the man understands the meanings of most common phrases he responds in the correct and expected manner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried to to commit suicide.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

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What does a plum and a rabbit have in common? A: they're both purple, except for the rabbit!

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Q-What do you call kids who go to school? A- Students.

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"Did you eat your veggies?" asked the shark, sarcastically.

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? He got shot.

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what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

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knock, knock . whos there? the police. get the hell outside !

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how do you kill a blonde? shoot her in the face with a pistol

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What happens when you shoot a bear and you kill it? It dies.

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If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

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I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

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What did the autistic child say to the doctor? Nothing. His condition is so severe that he is mute and may never talk for the rest of his life.

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How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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What did the priest say to Jesus when he revealed himself on Christmas morning? Happy birthday

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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What's the difference between a Green Grocers and Fighter pilot! One flys a plane and one sells food.

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Thumbs this up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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