Q: What do you get when you stand a blonde on her head? A: HORSE DICK

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what did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing because they were both baked at 500 degrees and died

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Whats worse than having aids...... Being in school

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the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

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A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

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A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black

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what does gum eat ? gum you idiot!

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What happend when 1 second past after 7:00 am? It was still 7:00 am.

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What has legs but can't walk? A paralyzed man.

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Roses are Black. Violets are Green. im going to go cut myself now

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Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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It wa Jerry's first day of kindergarten He pulled out a .44 magnum and shot himself under the chin where he was instantly dead... Yes, dead

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I ponder

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elliot forsythe is a paedo

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? I'm not sure, he could not unwrap them.

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Why is NO ONE on Facebook when I AM?! Because you have no friends... on Facebook... ... Wow.

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How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

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I walked into an elevator with Ray Rice...

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The Pope, Queen Elizabeth and a schoolboy are on a plane that is going to crash. It crashes and they all die instantly.

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why dont we just take bikini bottom and push it somewhere else

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what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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