What is the difference between a firework and a dog? One is funny to blow up and the other one is pretty lights

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, I am color blind.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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Knock knock Who's there? Batman Batman who? Because he was

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A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

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How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? One is a tasty Italian food the other is a respected member of society

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What's white and flies around ? A seagull. What's black and flies around ? A seagull in the darkness.

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A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street when they see an orphanage on fire. "Oh my god!" says the rabbi. "We have to save the children!" "Screw the children!" says the priest. "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.

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Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

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Woman's rights.

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A boy has a penis, a girl has a vagina.

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Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

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The 13th Amendment...

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I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

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What has two legs, but cant walk? Steven Hawking

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How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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GOODJESUSLORDALMIGHTY dis boy myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i can't even................ fhrejhklgfjgtedlfcgrbh http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+stupid&start=231&hl=en&safe=active&sa=X&biw=1022&bih=539&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=6-GniQ6ct-j0HM:&imgrefurl=http://katiespilling.blogspot.com/&docid=6oY2cEt2v

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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