What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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How do you survive the plague? you dont.

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How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

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Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

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A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

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Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

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knock knock ... no one was in

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What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

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Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

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Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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Yo momma so ugly she looks like a penis

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What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

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Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

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That's not what she said.

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What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

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Don't worry, I'm not as random as you think I salad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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