- Anti Joke

The Legend of the Fierce Fireplace In the beginning there was a fireplace, and from that fireplace a fire glowed by the burning embers of the last feathers of a mighty phoenix. And as the last of the feathers burned and the fire exhausted, from the ashes a new phoenix was born. Then just when the newborn began to take its first breath the fire started up engulfing the infamous bird with its huge fiery teeth. The bird screamed out in terror, but no one was around to save it. Just as fast as the fire started, however, it ended with an explosion of blood and feathers, each on fire. When each of the feathers finished burning, a new baby was born. Every newborn looked at each other and without a word knew exactly what had happened. Every one of them vowed to spread the word of the terrible fireplace accident. Years passed and the phoenixes died off from having too little magic to regenerate. The story never died though and reached the ears of an old man. Enraged by the tale, he dedicated the rest of his life to finding a solution. However, this was short lived for he died just a few days later of old age. The story takes a pause here for over a century. Then, suddenly, it was by chance that a young engineer would walk into a library and choose this book. He realized that the fireplaces currently in use were no different than the ones mentioned. He then dedicated his life to finding a solution, and he found one. By using the modern technology of the time, he created a simple, yet safe, gas burning fireplace. This essentially solved the problem. Along came computers. With the introduction of a new medium for engineering several people began designing old things with circuits and chips. This developed into unforeseen consequences. As digital engineering was a new subject, and the people experimenting with it had little to no experience, many of the new designs contained errors that unless otherwise solved created the same problem that it tried to fix, but the people were lazy. They put off trying to repair these new designs and left it to later generations. This is where I come into the picture. After studying Digital Engineering for half a semester, it was deemed I was worthy enough to tackle the famed Fierce Fireplace. Not knowing any better, I accepted the challenge. This is where our journey takes a turn for the worse. I will begin and end by explaining to you the process of designing the perfect, exceptionally-crafted, digitally engineered fireplace. From what was given, the problem became clear. The first step was to create a truth table that contained four inputs and two outputs. The first output is to send a logic one whenever there was at least three inputs with a high signal. The second and most troublesome output will send a logic one whenever the outputs don’t all match. By logical association, the next step was to create a Karnaugh map for each output. From those helpful hat tricks it was easy to create very simple minterms for each output. Thereafter, those minterms were translated into circuit diagrams with the first output being limited to the use of NAND gates, and the second output only uses NOR gates.After hand drawing each circuit, the next step I took towards perfecting this fireplace was to insert both of the new designs into Multisim, but this time, instead of having two different designs, both were inserted into the same file sheet to create a single-circuit, double-output process. From this new setup I was able to recreate the circuit on a breadboard. I realized that this specific design called for four NAND ICs and four NOR ICs. This is to allow for the simplest circuit design in each instance. Using a bread board companion, it was quite easy to design a four-input circuit with two outputs. After the design was complete, the design was tested by both me and my instructor. (See picture and parts list for an added assistance.) Knowing all of this the final thing to do was write a two hundred and fifty word conclusion summary of what it took to create the perfect fireplace. I thought this was to demanding so I skipped it; however, only an ignorant jerk wouldn’t turn in anything to their instructor- it’s funny because I usually do that- just to be lazy. Instead this legend, true or not, should suffice for the reason and process of the design. Amen.

What is Worse than the holocaust?

I got a dig bick. You that read wrong, You read that wrong too.

Womens' Rights

The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda pop" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

why was little jimmy sad? he had a frog stapled to his mouth why did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why did little jimmy fall of the swingset? he didnt have any arms what did little jimmy want for Christmas? parents what did he get for Christmas? cancer knock knock whos there? not jimmy

"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

Wanna know who doesnt no how to right a joke? Who ever wrote this...

What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

What is big and wet and smells like mushrooms? A big wet mushroom.

She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns. He won.

a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

square circles have souls but gingers do not CC

Life is like a box of chocolates. Well...not really no. It's not.

Q: What is 2 + 2? A: Beastiality

how come so many people die every year due to starvation? They don't have enough food and there aren't nearly enough spider monkeys in North America.

Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

Is that a threat or a promise? dragonflies

yo mama so fat, her favorite food is seconds.

What is the difference between a firework and a dog? One is funny to blow up and the other one is pretty lights

Robin, get in the batmobile.

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

Q: What sucks? A: Straws

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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