1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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Knock Knock Whos there Who Yan Who Yan Who Chow Yan Chow

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

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A lion walks into a barber shop and asks for a haircut and the barber says no then the lion proceeds to kill everyone in the shop

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She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

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A man walks into a bar Then another man shoots him in the head because he has anger issues.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He didnt.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

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What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

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Roses are Violets, Violets are Roses, I am a dumb ass, The Hobbit.

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Ya know what's sad? You can only submit one dislike on this website.

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Guess who didn't have breakfast this morning? Kids in Africa

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guess what my nephew said today? oh ya i forgot, hes dead..

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If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

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Justin Bieber got laid

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Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

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If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

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Q: What did the guy with glasses say to the guy without glasses? A: Dude your not wearing glasses.

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How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

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Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

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What is green and is a dub dub. A green dub dub.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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