There were two ducks in a bathtub. One duck says to the other, "Pass me the soap" The other duck replies, "What do i look like, a toaster?"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are blue violets are red I think I'm getting drunk get me to my van

thumb_up thumb_down -8

i saw your mom, i said hi

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than finding out that your family is dead? finding a worm in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -8

25

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs taste better in stews.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your mums a penis joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats white, blue, and red all over? a white guy in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened when the Neo-Nazi ran into a group of black people? He listened to their struggles, heard their stories, accepted their diversity and eventually hung up his hateful ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats dead and gone your nanas cat

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you do when your internet goes down? You right click on the internet connection and try to fix the problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is black people's skin darker? Africa

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops