Obamacare haters

If you and Chuck Norris have five dollars you both have the same amount of money.

Why did Johnny stop walking halfway to school? A fridge fell on him.

I had my period 3 days ago.

A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

why dont we just take bikini bottom and push it somewhere else

A man walks in to a bar and says "ouch."

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

Why was the baby crying? Because you repeatly hit it in the face with a brick, you sick freak.

How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

a kid calls 911 and says ,"is this 911?" and the operator says ,"NO! THIS IS PATRICK!!!!!!"

A baby seal walks into a club.

Jackson gets a new phone he drops it what does he have. (a beating )

what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer we're both lawyers

What did the 4 year old black kid ask his father for Christmas? A yo-yo. nah im just kidding he doesnt know who his father is.

Why did the pirate say to the donkey? Rrrrrrrrrrr you a donkey?

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

Roses are Black. Violets are Green. im going to go cut myself now

Why do gay guys like push pops? Because they are a delicious lollipop treat.

Q: Whats the difference between a friend and a bestfriend? A: The other one has best in front of it dumb A$$

Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

your father died

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...