Why did the chicken cross the road Because you didn't fuking cook to -.-

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't little billy have any friends? Billy bought a rifle, and shot everyone he had ever seen or talked to, even his family. Billy then tripped on his walk home and fell off a bridge, and into the ocean. Then a shark came and swallowed him. That is why you should never kill your friends and family because it will come back and bite you. Don't be like billy

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:Why did the man fall down the stair I don't know? A:Because he wasn't careful

thumb_up thumb_down -11

who can beat up superman doomsday, duh, he killed him

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats white and sticky fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -13

thermodynamics?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A redhead walks into a hairdressing salon and asks to have her hair dyed black due to being a subject of bullying and social rudeness.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yeah, so I was partially right when I assumed that you joined the feds in order to make sure the past would not repeat itself huh? The underground society never broke a simple rule, a single law, it simple grew from a bunch of dopeheads, to people capable of creating nuclear weapons... Just a matter of speaking of course.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then delivered by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their mass execution.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A dinosaur walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender goes home and tells his wife what he saw. His wife leaves him.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do Jews, Muslims and Blacks have in common? They are all valuable members of the community and should be treated no differently from anyone else

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is worst then falling off a tree....... Falling off a bigger tree

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo momma's so fat she is now a sponsor for Jenny Craig after joining the program and loosing almost a 100 pounds. So I suppose she isn't too fat anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops