knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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What's worse than eating cows. Death

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A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He cracked his skull and died in the hospital shorty afterward.

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Knock knock. Come in.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What do you call a man who is dirty, and is searching through a pile of garbage? A man who threw out his divorce papers.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? How ever many seats happen to be available.

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What did Jesus say last before being nailed to the cross? I don't know, It never happened. ...Why did he say that? He didn't, it's not real.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

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I walked into an elevator with Ray Rice...

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why couldn't the boy eat his oreo's? His sister ate it.

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What was the pirate's favorite letter W

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What did the Priest say to the Rabbi? Nothing. The Priest was mute and the Rabbi was deaf.

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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Today is May 18 2016.

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On a scale from Casey Anthony to Sandusky, how much do you like children?

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I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

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Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

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Two black men go inside a movie theater. They sit down and watch the movie.

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What do blacks and the night have in common? Their both worse than when it's light

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Robin, get in the batmobile.

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Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

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What's up brah brah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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