A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

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What do you do with a pickle jar full of semen? Use it for gel, because it took so long to collect it all, and you're frugal person who believes in recycling.

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What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They have the same middle name.

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Whats worse a black person or a white person I feel like all races are equa,l therefore, there is no correct answer

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What's long, hard, and filled with semen? A submarine

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Why does little susie enjoy her life? Because it was her birthday 364 days ago.

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What's big, yellow, and can't swim? A school bus.

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I'm taken

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yo mama is fat shes fat

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What did the father say to his daughter? "I'm going to rape you."

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, due to the lack of details, there could be many reasons, such as the possibility that there was a cornfield on the other side, he got scared by a loud noise behind him and ran across the street, or just plain old curiosity, but whatever it may be, right now, we do not know the cause.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your so ugly, im going to kill you! Just kidding.......... Violets are purple. -Harrison

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? Probably one. Replacing a light-bulb is a pretty simple task which any person (regardless of ethnicity) should be able to do without assistance.

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What do you call a really small grape? A grape.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

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Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

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Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

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Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

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Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LJP1DphOWPs#!

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Roses are red, Violets are black, Why is your chest, as flat as your back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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