What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A Jew walks into a bar The bar owner looks at a gang of punks in the back and shouts "YOU! GET OUT!" The Jew leaves the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

SIMPLE EQUATION: John has 32 chocolate bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A black man walks up to a bank teller and pulls out a gun, he proceeds to tell the bank teller he saw a white man drop it outside the bank.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats worse then getting hit by a truck? Getting hit by a turkey!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

daniel thinks 30 rock is funny

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red, violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't you worry I'll be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A Jew walks into a bar. He quickly works on treating the injuries he had received from hitting his head against the bar when he had walked into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is more worse than death? Death

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Thank you for booking with Anti-Joke Travel Agency. Here is your trip itinerary: 1. Your toilet

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Bumper Sticker: I Brake for Stop Signs

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops