What's the difference between gays and straights? Sexual orientation

What do you call a man with a towel on his head? A good target.

knock knock come back later i'm taking a shower!!!

A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? Sitting on a black man is just plain rude.

O.J. Simpson. What would you do in that situation?

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your family is dead. Your family is dead, who? Your family is dead.

Why couldn't the old man read the street sign? Because there were no words. Just an arrow designating a trun up ahead.

A man dressed in a business suit goes into a doctor's office. He asks the receptionist how much a vasectomy would cost. After a minute of her looking it up on the computer she turns to him and says "The procedure will cost $750." He then thanks her and leaves.

What's worse than dropping your ice cream cone? Man's inhumanity to man.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

Your social life.

why did the grandpa drop his big mak??? Because an army tank hit him

Whats yellow pink and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? Oh were you expecting an answer here, if i knew the answer i wouldn't have asked a question.

An Irishman, a homosexual and a Jew walk into a bar. Paddy's really exploring his options lately.

What goes up and does not come down? Why the hell ask me.

When life gives you aids, make aids-aid.

How do you make a doctor cry? Kill his family.

knock knock go away

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

a dinosaur with a large clown hat is walking down the street when he is confronted by an obese monkey human with red hair. I set this up for a good pun, but the one i have is potatoes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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