- Anti Joke

I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Provolone

Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

Why did the boy like watching NASCAR? He didnt because he was a fish and a secret Soviet spy

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and trampoline? Well, children jump on one to obtain enjoyment, while a pile of dead babies is a sick tragedy.

Why did the bus crash? The driver was a tomato.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

What did the blonde say to the brunette? We both have hair

Knock knock. who's there? Alex. GO AWAY!!!

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

how did the tree fall on the woman? it didnt, trees dont grow in kitchens

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's purple and has four wheels? A frog, except for the purple and four wheels part.

I got a dig bick. You that read wrong, You read that wrong too.

Q: what do you call obama A:a dumbass

What's worse than having amnesia? I don't remember.

what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

yo mamma so fat she got pied to be the Olympic swimming pool

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!

what do you call a deer with no eyes? a deer...