she wasn't 18

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

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Bailey you suck at writing anti jokes quit!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( :( :(

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What do you call a black person flying an airplane? a pilot you racist

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. These are facts. Good day.

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whats the dif...mexicans are gay

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What's easier to get than a broke prostitute on the side of the street? Osama Bin Laden.

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What's worse than dying? Dying poor.

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A scientist walks into a bar. His forehead becomes swollen.

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Do you know the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human, and one is an inanimate object.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? F*ck

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What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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Your Mum's so fat, she's going to die.

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Who's there? Knock Knock.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are many circumstances that could affect the outcome of the situation. One of them is whether or not the given people have or will soon obtain a ladder. In this case, the lightbulb could take more time than needed to be screwed in and effectively changed. Another key factor in the situation is the number of people. If there are enough people to reach the ceiling without a ladder, the lightbulb could be screwed in sooner or later than asked by the owner of the facility in which the lightbulb socket is installed. Finally, the height of the persons given is a crucial point in this situation. The people may be tall, thus allowing there to be fewer people needed. The people could be short and need a greater number of people than if the people were, perhaps, a bit taller. All in all, I'd say about 1-2.

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Mr Webb *Hit keyboard loudly* -...

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A cow says moo and explodes.

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Antijoke the book. Seriously it sucks ass, do not bother, they only included the very worst ones.

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What is red and tastes like parsley? Red Parsley

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Once upon a time there was a cat named Martin. He died.

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Tell me a joke Tell me a joke! TELL ME A JOKE!!! ...Womens Rights

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what did the chicken cross the road? because its a chicken

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I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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