What do you call a bear with no fur? A taco.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? It was hit by an oncoming motorist in a busy intersection.

Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

If i could rearrange the alphabet I wouldn't put U and I together. I'd put my dick in your mouth.

The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet single celled bacteria.

Q: Whats worse than a dead baby in a bag? A: Please just make my hamburger.

Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

If a woman was born in China, raised in France and got married and died in New Orleans, what is she? Dead.

why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

What's a cow's favorite vacation spot? the slaughterhouse.

Jameson: hey peter peter parker: what Jameson: do you know what my favorite kind of beans are Peter: no Jameson: van de camps

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well, he graduated in 4 years with a degree in chemical engineering due to his diligence and good work ethic. He now has a well paying job that allows him to support his wife and two kids and to pay the mortgage on their large home.

Violets are blue, Roses are red. The sentence before was completely irrelevant, but I needed something to say before I tell you, Your family's been murdered by the KKK.

Yo mama so fat She could die any day.

How do you get rid of door knocker? You run at them with a chainsaw.

What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

Roses are red Violets are blue Vodka is less Than dinner for two

roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

How do you turn a frown upside down? You cannot do such a thing because frowning is the act of sadness. Therefore you cannot nor should not change a persons attitude.

why did matt daly shit his pants? he had downs

What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

Knock Knock Who's there? ... No one, you have Schizophrenia

What's dumber than a black guy that can't read? Two black guys that can't run with TVs.

What does a joke and an anti-joke have in common? Nothing, since "anti-" refers to the opposite of the word that it is modifying.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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