What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

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Knock knock Who's there? Joke Joke who? Auntie Joke Great, could you bake me those cookies I like.

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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She said no

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you get a jew out of an empty pool? Give him a lader

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It wa Jerry's first day of kindergarten He pulled out a .44 magnum and shot himself under the chin where he was instantly dead... Yes, dead

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How do you kill zombie Jesus? You can't.

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What is worse than the Haulocost? Running across Africa with KFC

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What was so special about Anne Frank's diary? Nothing. ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Knock knock Who's there? I eat myp.

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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My thanks to those that thumb down my comment below, you have the possibilty to become one of my over 100.000.000 members, as long as you follow your heart, your own will, we got you covered. We got over 600.000 never members since last year, you are far from alone, thumb this comment up, leave a small comment, and I shall send one of my shadows to tell you more, or online if you prefer that, but then I would need your email address... ...As for your home address? Nah, already know it just let me know if you want a visit, but during my 6000 years on earth or so, I have yet to evolve to the point where I fully understand the full nature of computers, they are very recent to me. Yet only those that are willing to follow their hearts and enact their true hidden desires without shame, guilt, remorse, but instead with love and gusto, will find the answers among us. Soon my wings shall spread, and just like that, the world is ours! Moral: "Fuck Morals, would you believe me if I said they where in code? No they are not, the secrets are only within the shadows, and the Black Angel. Nero.

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What's black and has been free since the 1700's? What? I don't know, i was asking you.

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how do you kill a blonde? hit her in the back repeatedly with a crowbar

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yo mommas so ugly that everyone died.

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What did the Muslim say to the Sikh? "Hello. Lovely weather today."

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A women in her kitchen hears a thud outside. Her husband fell off the roof.

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Why would you wanna keep an idiot busy, it's not gonna make a difference...

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Jacob Edwards has friends

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh damn I'm blind.

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Why did the dog have 2 legs? he got cut in half.

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An irishman walks into a bar and orders a beer.

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If you and Chuck Norris have five dollars you both have the same amount of money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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