Do you wanna hear a Ebola joke? You probably won't get it

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Where did Sally go during the explosion? Everywhere.

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An elephant walks into a bar..what the hell

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? I don't know... Does the deaf woman locked in my basement?

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

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Q: What did the Mexican kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

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A Squirrel gets ready for hybernation. 21 You Stupid

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A Muslim boards a plane and he sits done quietly and politely just like everyone else, the plan lands safely at its destination.

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My mom gave me a quarter. I tryed to spend it on bubblegum but 7-11 said no...

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Why did the man drink his own piss? Because he was Bear Grylls

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A lion walks into a barber shop and asks for a haircut and the barber says no then the lion proceeds to kill everyone in the shop

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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How many carrots can you fit in a truck Depends who's driving

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shauns beautiful

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Nicholas Salek did not write the message below. It was a joke one of his mates played!!

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What did the one horse say to the other. Nothing because horses can't talk.

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What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication.

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Guess what? Holocaust

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? One has a penis, and one has a vagina.

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Knock Knock! I have a door bell, you idiot!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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