Dear emma brown i would appreciate if i could have my dick back, the you squeezed of wwith you ass cheeck -jackson edwards

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If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

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Q: whats worse than a Muslim? A: a Jew

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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Why did the man laugh when he saw someone using a shake weight? He remembered Dane Cook's stand up preformance from the night before.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? He was in a spiraling depression due to recently being laid off at work, his troubled home life, and the recent death of his sister.

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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What is green and has weels? A green bycicle.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

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What's a black person's favorite thing to eat? Food.

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What's black and twelve inches long? A Maglite.

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Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

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*prepares this to get negged*

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What is harder than Jenga? Being a quadraplegic.

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what do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A: a piolt

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3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

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Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the the wheels.

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How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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