What is the difference between a baby and a tampon? A tampon doesn't cry when it's hungry or tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q:What's worse than stepping on lego? A:Hiroshima.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house KNOCK KNOCK who's there? da chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why do black people have dark skin? Lack of melanin in their skin. You learn something new every day.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the rednecks say when they saw the bat? Ma, I'm afraid this is the Myotis Sodalis, or Indian Bat. It is an endangered species. Thus, we cannot shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's the diffrence between one black guy and another black guy. One of them has Aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How do you make a blonde stupid as hell. Give birth to it

thumb_up thumb_down -43

yo mama is fat shes fat

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Why does jim never go to McDonalds? his wife got shot there.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

thumb_up thumb_down -57

How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Holocaust jokes are not funny. My Grandpa died in the Holocaust... He fell off of the guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

"Do you wanna hear a funny joke?" Yeah, Sure! "A funny joke."

thumb_up thumb_down +52

An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Roses are red Violets are blue If you came 'cause GameGrumps Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +46

what smells worse then shit Drew White

thumb_up thumb_down +44

why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops