Why did the boy lose his watch? Who cares? It was a shitty-ass watch.

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Why did the guy with alzheimer's say to his wife? He can't remember.

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roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

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What does Tourettes Syndrome have in common with short term memory loss? I DON'T FREAKING REMEMBER.

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lets have sex, ok, but itll have to be anal, cuz im a guy xoxox danni

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What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

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How do you get 2000 people to go to heaven? Blow up a school.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Q. how do you get 50 babies into a bowl? A. blender Q. how do you get them out of the bowl? A. Doritos

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I used to make jokes about taking arrows to the knee then i beat the game

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, orange!

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What did the iceberg say when Titanic crashed on it? "Yeah!"

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What's a fail with a bowl on its head, a 30 year old, and a 5 year old at the same time? Justin Beiber

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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woman's rights

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Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. see how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

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So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

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What makes 10 year olds laugh? Se x Jokes.

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Why did the crack head cross the road? To get crack.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? The Batmobile only seats one, you'll have to take the bike Boy Wonder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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