Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are green I'm bipolar

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How does a muslim make his parents proud? He gets good grades.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: How can you fit 1000 jews in one car? A: The Ashtray

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What worse than the holocaust? Dries Roelvink!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The skeleton walks into a bar. Everyone is confused and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q.what does the kid scream when he see's a creepy man in a big van pull up? A. ICE CREAM!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Where did little Suzie go during the bombing? A:Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the little boy drown? He was stapled to a whale.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock whose there? my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo mamma's so old... oh way no she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

thumb_up thumb_down

HEY YOU!!! just checking for assholes

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, and then come back halfway? A: He was racing his friend to the other side. He didn't realize his friend got hit by a truck until he looked back. He continually cried until finally he got it together and walked over to his dead friend. He wasn't paying attention though, and another truck hit him. The truck driver continued his road trip and bought KFC for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down

how many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb? One, a Mexican can fix any thing.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

thumb_up thumb_down

An Englishman, Irishman, and Jew walk into a bar. Steven Spielberg is a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

thumb_up thumb_down

How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops