A horse walks into a bar. Animal control them came and got him out, apologizing for the matter.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a bear eating another bear? A cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The homeless man first experience warmth....in Hell

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't little billy have any friends? Billy bought a rifle, and shot everyone he had ever seen or talked to, even his family. Billy then tripped on his walk home and fell off a bridge, and into the ocean. Then a shark came and swallowed him. That is why you should never kill your friends and family because it will come back and bite you. Don't be like billy

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the results of his AIDS test

thumb_up thumb_down -13

i like how everyone hates a german version of an antijoke but no one has aknowleged the english one

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you make a baby float? Take your foot of its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Soccer...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whats the dif...mexicans are gay

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There is a British man, a Mexican man,and a American man on a boat. The captain sad the boat is carrying to much weight so the each have to throw off something they have to much of. The Brit throws tea, The Mexican throws tacos, and The American throws the Mexican.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the girl who's father was murdered do at her wedding? not have a father daughter dance.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is MLA important? Because if Mothers didn't Love Anyone society would collapse and we would go into a nuclear war and blow up the earth, and the apocalypse would happen and dinosaurs would rule once again until another meteor hits the earth.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the dentist quit his job because he had saved up enough money for his retirement

thumb_up thumb_down -15

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happens every 5 seconds? An African kid dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Stephen Hawking raped your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops