Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Q: What time do you see a Chinese dentist? A: Never because China has a flawed healthcare system due to overpopulation. It is a sad and sobering reality of the plight of the Chinese citizens.

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how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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What did Little Jojo get for Hanukah? Nothing he is Muslim.

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Why did the man bring the computer to the doctor because it had a virus

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fack me in the ace! CC

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What is worse than eating shoxy poulet.? Nothing

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I like my women how I like my salad. Without a penis.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I bought a Jeep

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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Blonde: I'm sad. Brunette: Why? Blonde: I walked into a bar just to see my boyfriend having a drink with another woman, Brunette: I'm so sorry,

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An 8 year old, a 9 year old, and jerry sandusky walk into a shower...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not doing your Webtime on a Friday!!

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What is the difference between Boyscouts and Jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

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What happens to the man with cancer He dies Because the pharmaceutical company wanted to profit off a synthetic drug equal to marijuana

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An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

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roses are red violets are blue bannas are yellow so is my wife

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1:Nice comeback. 2: If I wanted my cum back, I would get it off your mom's face

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Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

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Women's sports.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daises are red, holy crap my garden is on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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