What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo mama so fat... Her doctor told her she's morbidly obese and she has 2 years to live if she doesn't change her eating habits and exercise regularily.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did the blind man watch T.V? With the captions on.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the boy sitting alone? Because all his friends died.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a cow climbing a tree? Amazing. How many cows have you seen climbing trees?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

knock knock, whos there? your neighbor's cat..no not really, but your sister just got raped

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call 200 black people dead in the ocean? It's a start.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Dylan Hodge fingered himself. Hah.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

ow

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? The Batmobile only seats one, you'll have to take the bike Boy Wonder.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

(Put joke here)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

thumb_up thumb_down -9

u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man is on a date. His philandering causes a bitter divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops