What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

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What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to....

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Why was the Black Panther upset? Because racial tensions were high in the 60s.

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What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

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Roses are red, violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't you worry I'll be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.

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daniel thinks 30 rock is funny

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What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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SIMPLE EQUATION: John has 32 chocolate bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Whats worse then getting hit by a truck? Getting hit by a turkey!

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why did the holocaust not die because black people are scared of fuck

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A black man walks up to a bank teller and pulls out a gun, he proceeds to tell the bank teller he saw a white man drop it outside the bank.

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Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

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A Jew walks into a bar The bar owner looks at a gang of punks in the back and shouts "YOU! GET OUT!" The Jew leaves the bar.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

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Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

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What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

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What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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