How did the boy cross the road? He didn't he had polio.

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An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

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3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

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Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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What ended the black family's picnic? Rain.

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guess what? chicken butt.

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What happened when the homosexual man came out of the closet? He was congratulated for winning the hide and seek contest.

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What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

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what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

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Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

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A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

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I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

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Your mamas so fat. She fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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