What did the blonde say to the brunette? We both have hair

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and trampoline? Well, children jump on one to obtain enjoyment, while a pile of dead babies is a sick tragedy.

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Why did the boy like watching NASCAR? He didnt because he was a fish and a secret Soviet spy

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a tomato.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Why was the baby smoking? He was locked in a hot car.

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yo mama so fat, her favorite food is seconds.

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if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? Someone threw a piano at her.

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What does it take to write a good joke? A punchline

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Obama: And then I said there would be a change. (hahahahahaha)

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What do you call a black man who walks into a jail cell? A hard working and dedicated police officer who was just putting his first offender in jail.

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What happened after jimmy cheated on a test. Jimmy went home.

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What do you call a doctor whos black A doctor

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If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

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What happens when a rabbit is late for a very important date? Nothing, rabbits have no logical way to keep track of time.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

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knock, knock who's there? I'm here to kill u! I'm here to kill u who? .......

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There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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