Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died! Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A Brunette a ginger and a blonde were getting their hair done? WHich side of the bus did they sit on? Why did i put a question mark on the first part?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

911 joke ? now thats just plane rude.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's black and has been free since the 1700's? What? I don't know, i was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's black and looks like Burnt Popcorn? A black man

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A fish and a human had a conversation. The conversation was not interesting because fish can't speak and the human felt awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What is a man? A: A miserable little pile of secrets.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Ever see a man say goodbye to a shoe? Yes, once.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There are two hippos in a bathtub, one says to the other, "pass the soap." the other hippo says, "no soap, radio."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

SCUBA is spelt S C U B A

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a Justin Beiber concert and a hedgehog? With a hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside, but in a Justin Beiber concert, the pricks are on the inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats Black and White and Red all over? A white boy who just got jumped, with sever bruises left lying in a pool of his own blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Who is worse than Justin Bieber? Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I got a dig bick. You that read wrong, You read that wrong too.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well, you shouldn't be. I came to inform you your entire family died in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

every 60 seconds in africa a minute passes

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops