Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. He values his privacy and will not tell me his motives.

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Wanna hear an anti-joke?

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Me: Ask me if im a penguin friend: are you a penguin? me: no.

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I farted!!!!! t'was smelly??????? I LIKE CRABS! #tomato problems

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Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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Dylan Hodge fingered himself. Hah.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? The Batmobile only seats one, you'll have to take the bike Boy Wonder.

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What's worse than a crying baby? A dead one...

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Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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Q: What is that white stuff in chicken shit? A: Thats chicken shit too

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poo

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There was a cat, an astronaut and a nun. The cat was sleeping, the astronaut was floating, and the nun was praying. There was a singer, a dancer and an actor. The singer was singing, the dancer was dancing, and the actor was acting.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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my friend is gay hes gay

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs. It doesn't matter what you call him he still won't come.

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What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A fast car that's painted red and green...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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