brandon ya twwat

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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what happens when 15 babies cross the street? well, some may be hit by cars. others will have to face the harsh life of reality.

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Why did the teacher yell at her students? The class was acting completely inappropriate and she felt it was necessary to discipline them so the current situation won’t repeat its self.

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Why did the Muslim enter the bar? He didn't.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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What did the Homosexual say to the Southern American? I'm A Homosexual. What did the Southern American say back? I Respect That.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? -getting raped by 10 very hung men who go balls deep

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What bad thing could happen if you gave a black man a gun? ....stop expecting some racist punchline!

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What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

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Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

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What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

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baskets

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Pickles

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How do you know your cat is gay? Other cats have buttsex with him

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Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

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A black man went to jail while a white man received $200 dollars. They were playing a friendly game of monopoly.

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Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

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how can you tell if your moms fat? if Dora can't explore her (mx)

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What did the iceberg say when Titanic crashed on it? "Yeah!"

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What's yellow and lays in a tree? Tweety the Whore

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what did the jewish kid get for his birthday......Striped pajamas

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Why do we need to keep answering encryption codes? Because you can't keep a good Jew down (Wyndellberg)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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