Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

Chicken

Q: Why did the baby stop crying? A: Because it was satisfied.

When's the best time to go to the dentist? There is no best time, it is based on personal opinion and depending whether or not you have a conflicting schedule

Man walks in the bar then buys a drink

Yo momma's so fat, that she was put in this joke

What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

Looking for propane accessories? Well look no more!

why was the chinese man so good at math it was his favorite subject

So, why is winter so terrible? Because, Napoleon was stopped by winter and we aren't all French.

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

Q: Why are lizards broke? A: Because they run around the desert with no money.

Darude - Sandstorm

Q:What happened when the black guy walked into the bar? A:He bought a drink and quietly drank it until he was finished.

If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

Q. what is catness and pita name together pines

You so dumb that you weighed 100 pounds and ate a peanut and weighed 500 pounds!

Busted? What the hell is going on?

What do black people eat for breakfast? Cereal.

Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

Two mooses were sitting in a tree, minding their own business, when suddenly a submarine came flying. "He probably lives here." The first moose said to the other.

If it hadn't been for Cotton Eyed Joe My wife and kids would still be alive.

Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

Why did Janie miss school today? Because she fell in a well.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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