There's 2 cows, one says to the other "What do you think of Mad Cow Disease?" The other says, "I don't care I'm a helicopter"

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear large clothing.

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soccor

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What did the rat say to the snake when it ate it. Nothing for the rat is a rat and there for can not communicate through talk to the snake nor could it survive as the snake's digestive system disintegrated it in a matter of minutes.

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TJE ELIAS, LÄGET?

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Where did the little girl go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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How do you survive a snow storm? Kill yourself

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What do you call a person with an arrow in their head? Dead

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at rhyming Refrigerator.

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A mushroom walks into a bard and the bartender admonishes him and tells him to leave. The mushroom says "Aw, c'mon...you stupid jerk!"

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What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

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Why did the dog have 2 legs? he got cut in half.

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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What happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea? It gets wet.

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Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He is a fun-gi!!

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Why would you wanna keep an idiot busy, it's not gonna make a difference...

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Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

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What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

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What did the man say to his wife at the funeral. Nothing, he was dead

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. My mom went to the doctor and found out she has cancer, so when she told me, I was eccentric. That tree is green.

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Q: What do you call a Deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q; What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A: Still no ideer.

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whats blue, saggy, moldy and smelly? Will Nealis' Vagina

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Why did the man wear a blue shirt? He didn't. He wore a green one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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