GONNA

Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

what did the jewish kid get for his birthday......Striped pajamas

What did the Batman say to the Joker? "I am the Batman."

Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

Mary had a little lamb... that's what she gets for having intercourse with the farm animals.

How are bananas and friends alike? If you peel their skin and eat them

I just painted my nails. I have braces.

A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

What did the police officer say to the black man? "I am a police officer."

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

Q: How does a robber get into your house? A: Through a door.

Jingle bells Batman smells WHERE IS SHE??!!?!?!?

What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

There was a big guy he was called Mac. So Mc Donalds turned him into a burger

(Put joke here)

Why do women wear deodorant and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink.

Butt Sex.

Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...