Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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A Jew walks into a bar. He quickly works on treating the injuries he had received from hitting his head against the bar when he had walked into it.

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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Why couldn't the blonde screw in the light bulb?? - she happened to be autistic

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What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

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How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

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Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

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A buissnes man walks into a meeting and says hello i'm a buissnesman

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange. Orange who? The orange that can talk and knock on doors.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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What's brown and sticky? Caramel.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A bag of burning crap.

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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I pooped my pants

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Notice how Anti-Joke MISSPELLED "user", writing "uses" instead. Probably most of you didn't notice until I posted this :)

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Your time.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nofin Eejit.

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Michael Castillo is gay

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What happened to the Californian who drove off into the sunset. He died. You can't drive in the ocean.

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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