yo mamma so fat she got pied to be the Olympic swimming pool

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What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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yo mama so fat, her favorite food is seconds.

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Why was the baby smoking? He was locked in a hot car.

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?!" ...Two days later, both of the cannibals became very ill with food poisoning. Always ensure meat is cooked thoroughly before eating.

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What happened after jimmy cheated on a test. Jimmy went home.

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What do you call a doctor whos black A doctor

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If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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What does a gay horse eat? HEEEEEEYYYYYY!

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knock, knock who's there? I'm here to kill u! I'm here to kill u who? .......

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Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

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What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

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What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

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There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

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What do you call a black man who walks into a jail cell? A hard working and dedicated police officer who was just putting his first offender in jail.

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What does it take to write a good joke? A punchline

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if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

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Obama: And then I said there would be a change. (hahahahahaha)

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at rhyming Refrigerator.

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how did the tree fall on the woman? it didnt, trees dont grow in kitchens

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How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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