whats long and hard on a black man? his femur.

Why didn't the boy have any toes? - Because he did not have any legs.

I like my women like I like my coffee, without a dick

What's the difference between a duck?

What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

A Muslim walks into a bar. BOOM

Try saying "Good Eye Might" without sounding Australian.

What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

What is quite heavy and if it falls off a tree and hits you in your head you die? A sheets packet

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

Q. What did the blak guy say to the other black guy? A. Hey.

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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