It was nice knowing you Erron, it really was.

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What do you do when you have 2 eggs, but only want to use 1? I don't know. I guess you could just use 1 of them and save the other for another time?

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Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

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How did the Joker get away? Because the Batmobile lost a wheel.

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Do you ride the bus to school or do you take your lunch?

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Whats worse than finding a real joke on anti-jokes? -Nothing

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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A dog is walking down the street. The dog catcher promptly arrives and takes him to the pound. Two months later the dog is in a new, happy home with a wonderful family.

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What happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea? It gets wet.

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Shit!

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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Why couldn't Jenny speak right? Cause she had autism.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Shot.

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What do you get when you cross a donkey and a horse? a mule

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

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The Mexican word of the day is JUICY. Tell me if juicy see the cops.

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What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.Why did you just read this?

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Why was the black man put in jail? Because he escaped.

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I could even argue that having blood on your penis is kinda fun sometimes.

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why was the kid sad? his fish died. he had to flush it down the toilet.

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Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, skip the bull$%!#, and give me head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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