A creationist, an evolutionist, and Neanderthal Man walk into a bar. They order two beers and a glass of red wine. The bartender asks: "Will that be all?". The evolutionist says "Yes"

Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: His name.

Your Momma's so ugly, she went to the grocery store, and went she got out of her car, people said, "You're ugly."

What did the rapist say to the woman? "If you tell anyone I'll kill you!"

what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

What did John say to Trojan? Hi Trojan

What is brown and sticky? A stick

What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken god made two of every animal

A scientist walks into a bar. His forehead becomes swollen.

Why did the squirl eat the accorn? Because he enjoys it.

What do you call a girl with no arms or legs on the beach? Sandy What do you call that girl tossed into the water? Sandy Duncan

What did the nerd say to the bully? Nothing. The bully killed him before he could say anything.

How do you scare a bonde? tell her you want to be her uterus?

Zombies eat brains! (You're safe)

rebecca is a hard worker

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

say yes will u remember me in a year?yes will u remember me in a month? yes will u remember me in a week?yes will u remember me in a minute?yes will u remember me in a second?yes knock knock whos there u said u will remember me u dick

Q /why do people eat dinner? A/ because their hungry

How do you make a clown sad? Rape his wife, choke his grandma and send him a video of you setting his children on fire.

Why did the black student fail his math test? Because he was severely traumatized by the school shooting that had occurred during the test. He was later relieved to hear that the teacher did not count the test, because the legal paperwork surrounding the death of 12 students was somewhat overwhelming.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got mercifully trampled by a nearby 18 wheeler.

Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Seeing your mom dance

If a woman was born in China, raised in France and got married and died in New Orleans, what is she? Dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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